let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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