So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
