Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
