Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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