jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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