Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
