Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You did what with his pubic hair?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
