Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
