I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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