i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No more Irish car bombs ever.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
