So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
