He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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