Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
