You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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