My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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