Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
