You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
