the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
