idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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