i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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