After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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