Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
