so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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