Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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