Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
