some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
