what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
