I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
