i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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