Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
