Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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