So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
