Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
