actually, I'm a sock model
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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