Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
