I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
