Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She's the barista slut.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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