my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
