I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
