If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
