I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
