Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize