Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
