So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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