I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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