Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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