She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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