The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
