Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
