We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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