going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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